11 April 2010

3 years old.
A Recollection, Reflection and Reiteration

Our relationship starts out in such a fascinating manner. Do u still remember, what happened to be just a random call from u one fine day, turned out to be a regular phone call. And what's most incredible, even without having met each other, we just felt it mutually; it's just something so indescribable, this feeling oh so true. Everything happens so spontaneously. We met each other for the very first time after being together for 3 months and in the next moment, we're holding hands smiling to ourselves. How many couples out there started like that? Close to none. I think we're just meant to be, at the first place. Precious. I wish I could capture every moment with you on paper and pen my love.

I have never thought I would be in a long distance relationship, and I know I will never survive through one. Not without you my dear. Your entrance into my life has made impossibilty impossible.

It was hard to trust someone totally initially. We even went through incidents that made us doubt each other. But it's ironically those incidents that have also taught us to give and take, and taught us to rely on each other. Time has proven that our hearts are bound together and I learn to completely trust you. That's when I realise I've given my life to you. You make me believe in true love, and I believe true love only happens once in everyone's life. I've found mine and I won't let it go. Regardless.

On our 3rd anniversary, this is probably a turning point in our relationship as we are about to embark on a whole new experience. The thought of it seems so inconceivable isn't it? I thought through it for so damn long, sleepless nights have finally made me realise what I really want in life. There are some stuffs that you gotta use your brains to think fo the answer. Relationships too, but you gotta use your heart to feel it too.

I don't know if I will be a good girlfriend that lives up to your expectations when I'm there in Australia. After all we have never been through such life before. I'm so worried, too frequently meeting you would make you take my presence for granted. I'm so scared my presence there might lead you to a realisation that I'm not the real one for you. Will I be a nuisance to you, if I stick to you too much? Will my reliance add trouble to your life instead? These questions of doubt and fear never stop haunting me, perhaps until this point in time.

Nonetheless I am going to do it, for I love you baby. I love you so much, I will take the risk. It's probably one of the biggest decision I have to make in my life. Regardless of the outcome, at least I know that I do it for love. No, not just love, but true love. Let me be someone you can trust, rely and fall back on, for I will not be just a girlfriend, but a best friend in disguise.

Let me share with you my thoughts about love.

Love is like a temporary insanity. It erupts and then subsides. But love is not mere breathelessness, or excitement. Neither is it just a promulgation of promises of eternal passion, perpetual obssession or infinite infatuation. To me, Love itself is paradoxically what is left over when being in love has gradually subsided and faded. You and me, I hope, shall have roots that grow towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we would be one tree and not two.

Yet true, very true only God knows what lies ahead. Thus, on our 3rd anniversary, I would like to make a silent but sincere prayer, for God to constantly bless us with true happiness, true love that would last us till death do us apart.

How I wish I can be by your side on this special day. But we're coming to a whole new chapter in our little story called love, so we'll have plenty of of such chances in the future anyway :)

Lastly, let me make a little confession.
You would always hope to be my first love, of which you are.

But I never hope or expect to be your first love, for I hope to be your last romance.

I love you.

Angelia